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Aquamarine and Steven: The Hatred That Transcends The Doors of Tragedy

May 9, 2017

It was a very bad day for Steven. He was separated from his most true and exuberantly breasted love, the Amethyst.

Aquamarine, a devil ugly lepidopteran WHORE, had desired Steven for herself and kidnapped him! All the gems were left on earth, cursing the heavens for the theft and rape (in the stealing kind, not the sexy kind,,,, yet), for each wanted Steven for themselves. The king of the gods, Dyaus Pita, heard their wailing, and punished them by turning the scorned women into wild beasts, forever unable to love again. Even Amethyst, whose only crime was a broken heart, was forever a monster like mournful Medusa, and slain by Scarecrow with a spoon.

Now, Steven was lost in the vastness of the darkness of the emptiness of the blackness of the statelessness of star-less space. He was on the space saucer of the hubris-ful and arrogant Aquamarine, the gem who had captured him in name of the Diamonds, who wanted to wed him, but instead kept him for herself. Either fate was too monstrous for Steven, who loved Amethyst, who was now a monster, who was now killed by a kitchen utensil, by Scarecrow.

“Hahahahahahahahahahaha now you’re all mine my beloved Steven!” cackled Aquamarine conqueredly, crowing like a roster upon victimized serpents.

She could not help but be consumed by the lust of her beloved Steven, so she took out her wand and inserted it in her decadent and decaying uterus. Caterpillars and maggots gnawed on her flesh, now a massive gaping, pus-trimmed, necrotic hole sending directly to her womb, sending flashes of pleasure up her spine, who damaged her Broca area so each spasm was responded by bowel failure, ejecting globs of rotten black shit like a healthy pigeon (not the white guano of STARVED pigeons). She flew around the ship in ecstasy, throwing shitty everywhere in a choleric cholera. Her panties were completely submerged in brown, massive lumps falling slowly out of them as they were filtered by the tainted silk.

Her associates, the Topazes, sighed. They wanted Steven for themselves, but they had to serve the wretched fae, and so they took out a mop and began to washed the deck.

“Oh Steven, let us consummate our marriage!” said Mothman meanly, kissing the poor innocence boy with her putrid blackened gums.

Steven vomited in her mouth, his stomachal acids melting off her lips…but she LIKED IT EVEN MORE! She put a ring of gold with an amethyst gem on his finger, to remind him of the love he lost.

“Oh Steven, please your wife” moaned Aquaman moanfully, rubbing Steven’s underage nipples.

Steven sighed, he was obligated to copulate with the violator of his dreams.

But unknownst to them, Lars was hidden in the ship. He was very terrorfied, but also extremely jealous, because he wanted Steven for himself. So he walked to the Topaz, almost stepping on the poo.

“Hey big juicy lady” he said lyingly because he thought she looked like a lesbo megadyke, “Why do you take orders from that wimpy little fairy when you could take Steven as your husband?”

Topaz almost replied, but deep in her womanly heart she knew it to be true. So she threw the mop away and rushed towards Aukmarine. She was making out with Steven, so she was distracted and let her wand slip. Unfortunately, Topaz tripped on it and fell on them both!

“AAAAHHHHHHH YOU SHITTY ARNOLD IMPERSONATOR YOU ARE CRUSHING MY BONES!!!” roared Aquamarina annoyedly like that sun female dwarf from the Happily Ever After Hanna Barbera movie, but it was too late.

All her bones cracked, marrow infusing with her poo-tainted flesh. Most importantly, her skull was smashed against the pavement, and her false tear gem cracked, condemning her to a hell eternity of anal violation by symmetrodont concubines of yore. Unfortunately, Topaz weight also cracked Steven’s gem.

“Noooo, my love!” cried Topaz angstily, but it was of no use.

As Steven’s gem was destroyed, the flesh around his belly blackened and purpled with necrosis, ejecting pus like mayonnaise (geddit because its a gender and gems are non-binary). It spread all across Steven’s abdomen, dissecting his internal organs until they became jerky-like. His intestines were so compressed that all the poo inside him constipated, and constipated, and constipated until it was a massive bump on his belly. Steven moaned in agony, the pain was intense. With a single tear, he reached for the wand.

“For Amethyst, my one true love” he said, and committed seppuku.

In an instant, a pure black oily torrent erupted from his bowels like an ocean of darkness, washing away Topaz and Lars, dung filling their lungs and brains until they exploded. They joined Aquamarine in HELL, where they were most righteously tortured for ten billion years, boys and girls.

But what about our beloved Steven?

“Amethyst” was his last whisper, before his lungs deflated and fell into the poo.

Now Steven, Rose’s Son, was no more.

Then Samurai Jack and ASHI had SEX above his corpse.

Amen.

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