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The Magic School Bus: The Exploration Of Nature’s Dreadful Might

January 20, 2014

The class is very unrest, they wait unpatiently for Mrs. Frizzle arrival.

“Oh, I wonder what we will explore today!” says Dorothy which much ardor of curiousity in her underage breasts.

“I hope we will get to see animals today!” says Tim, he much desires to see insipidicity sumatran rhinoceri of wonderful woolly fur of jungle mud.

“I have a bad feeling about this” moans the Arnold like unfelicity cat in a frost cake of indifference.

Wanda much dislikes the Arnold negativity attitude, so she viciously masticates poison ivy and spits it at Arnold. That oughta teach that devil boy PERV to not be woeful a carcinoma to the face of unreality dreams of teenage asian girls of great ambitions!

“AAAAAAAHHHH YOU SHITTY WOMAN MY HEAD IS MELTING!!!!” screams Arnold with much passion and furious fortitude, he is hallucinating because the poison ivy urushiol got into his ears and reacted to his frivolous bloody wax, making him have dilusions of enamoured sensations.

“Carlos…. I love you!” and the Arnold jewish boy frenches the supple deliciously hotness latino nostrils with much pleasure.

“I love you too, amore mio!” says sexily Carlos with much rarity unironic desireful moans of pleasure so offered.

“OFMG ARNOLD IS UKE!!!!” says the Phoebe with weaboo condolences, her nose explodes in a bloody carnicery bath of rotten pus blood, decaying cartilage and avian cholera.

“EW FAGGOT MEN ARE MUCH DISTASTEFUL TO MY UNSECURE SENSES OF PHIL ROBERTSON ENEMAS!!!!” says much unpleased the Ralph, he is readying his closetted muscles to destroy.

Just then, their prayers to Ahriman are answered! Frizzle appears with her devil iguana reptile she calls the Liz, who devours much unhappy ladybugs and paraoxytonous Coxoplectoptera fossils of despise.

“Good morning my pitiful children, are you ready to unravel the shadow mysteries with the cancerous light of lightement of the self?”

“Yay, much indeed my boudacious sassy professor woman of unorthodox orange locks!” says the Keesha much happily as she photographs the sweetly loving sexuality arousive couple.

“Are we going to explore the savanna or the tundra or the Taxodium dominated Florida wetland bayous of despicability ontology?” asks the Tim, he is really anxious about Metazoa.

“No my class, we will explore something much more proffound that we have never examined before! We shall see cancer!”

“You mean the astrological sign of aquiferous intent that the greeks inferred from babylonian misinterpretation by colouring with most inane mythology of Hera pettily sending a devil crab to masticate the Hercules’ insipidicity cock?” asks unsecurity the Keesha.

“No my varicose children of demented deficiency, cancer is the purest expression of life and growth, that far transcends brachyuran giggolos of hatred!”

And so Frizzle guided her class to her yellow magical bus of schoolarship denialism, while the while chanting her jittery devil song of apreciative awe towards nature’s dreadful finale. Carlos and the drugged hedonistic revelling mess of kisses he calls the Arnold go much felicity hand in hand, which pisses the Ralph even more. They all enter the grinning and eldritch yellow bus, which metamorphoses into a tiny mosquitto airplane and dives into an unsuspecting elderly man’s most unsanitary nails.

“I guess we nailed him good!” cackles the spaniard mockery of colestrol heart.

“Carlos!” everyone else most eye rolling-ly disdains.

“My love your quips are of most exquisite originality and sincerity beautiful animousity!” says lovingly the intoxicated ginger boy, kissing passionately the Carlos eye orbs.

Eventually, they come across an evil cell cluster of malevolent maleficent intentions. It is expanding in all directions, much to the arteries’ endless pity.

“My children, this is our first encounter of cancer! As you can see, these cells are Homo sapiens elderly man cells, but they are evil and corrupted, so they do not obey the genetic and hormonal wishes of the dark heart of hatred and fear, so instead of forming into apropriate tissue they instead spread as a formless mass that is very calolent and has badly shaped intentions.”

“Isn’t that against nature wishes?” asks frightfully the Phoebe girl of exploded nares.

“Nonsense! Nature and life live only for rampant growth, they seek survival at the expense of the weak and dying! Cancer most whimsically displays the true black heart of Gaea, that this pitiful olf man shall not survive as the cancer spreads and consumes him from the inside! Never forget my children, your lives are meaningless and you must thrive and grow at the expense of your fellow humanity!” says the Frizzle with much wisdom in her vulva.

“We’re inside an old fart, aren’t we? Guess our friend’s a good fertiliser!” cackles the mad Carlos boy.

“Carlos!” everyone disdains again against pitiful starved hummingbird rhetoric, except the Arnold who provides much supple kisses of pleasure and sexuality.

“We shall now see more advanced states of cancer!” says horny the Frizzle woman of socially darwinistic intentions.

And so the golden hell bus the schoolyard maniac laughs in lovecraftian eons of musical palpitations, driving thousands mad with it’s cacophony, and dives deeper into the blood stream. Ralph is much consumed by closetted lusts of exploded Carlos arses, he must kill homoromantic pair of amorous intent lest his aortas become unblocked and empathy ends his sociopathic demaneaour. Think Ralph, think!

“Fucking fags, always shoving inanity sexuality at true MAN’s acneous virginity faces!”


“No my children do not slaughter each other yet we must witness carcinogenic superiority race species!” sterns the Frizzle in unserious ADHD inanity.

D.A. pouts, and puts her axe in her endometrium again. Ralph smiles with much devilry Angra Mainyu intentions of homophobia, we must kill the boy couple. The bus swims across the decrepit old arteries like raped ichthyosaur enchilada, until they come across the corrupted, cancerous liver. It has several types of tumours, but there is one that brings especial joy to Frizzle’s heart of stale mammary milk.

“Mrs Frizzle the Muspellheimr Sunna teacher, are those teeth in the gall bladder!?” asks Tim, he is very scared because he is utter hypocrite who dislikes animalistic traits in non-animal body.

“Indeed my well endowed deliciously bodied afrotropic male specimen, those are teratomas! They are formed when the devil carcinoma cells decide to repeat already established organelles in erroenous fervor, and as such tissues unassociated with the mother tissue began to appear!”

“So cancer impregnates you?” asked the Keesha wisely.

“Indeed my boudacious little girl! Cancer is the truest manifestation of life, it blesses your pitiful worthless flesh with holiness growth of forest mana ardour!”

The children all moan in awe, they are much impressed by Frizzle’s wisdom words of truthiness wises. Except Ralph he prepares for grieveous hate crime murder, so he picks up his axe with Chuck Norris’ name written in Elder Futhark rubnes… Suddenly the Frizzle grabs the Ralph arms!

“Ralph my darling rosaceous dawn butt ring wisy jock, do you care to sample the teratoma samples in order for our studious desire to proceed?”

Ralph grunts, and wears the submariner diving dress.

“I much want to go too!” says D.A. with the cancerous underage nipples.

“Okay children, you may all explore in the wonderous hallowed flesh the teratoma of joy and lust!”

And so all the pitiful young prepubescent inoccence children dress up as well. Carlos dresses Arnold with much tenderness of pure love like cacatuoidean Psittaciformes preening odourous guano encrusted feathers of a lover smashed by calamity hatred ginkgoaceae.

“The diving dress looks very neat on you, so tight so you are very pretty and sexuality” says Carlos with much latino seduction mojo in his voice of suaveness hurricane winds.

Arnold is much pleased, so he kisses the spaniard man with much love syncretism in his vasicle madness. Ralph much dislikes, he tries to peak at Keesha’s breasts because his mind is intoxicated with closetism, but he is met with violence meteor clash of negress hands.

“Frizzle my teacher the Ralph has moved into quoll rotten arse territory!” she cries with much humiliation at the devil boy molestations iof the eye orbs.

“Do not worries my heathen supple little ethiopian Anathema Maranatha girly of the littles, I have devil plan to avenge your nipple secrecy purity virginity!” says he professor with wisy, she is much sophiaphilia woman of knowledge.

And so the gang dive in the unfestered uncleansed unwashed old man blood, and aproximate their distance to the cancer. Wanda is left to pilot the bus, she knows rudimentary driving lessons since her vacation time in Iraq. The scars are still on her young inoccence mind, all the men being blasted to smithereens, all the defiled burqa women, all the poverty and hatred and war mix and burn as she pilots the eldritch devilry evil yellow vehicle, she must heal them…. she must kill! So she barfs her legs, covering them with a vile mixture of digested cabbages, tomato and butter unfestered sandwiches, robin eggs, putrid fox carrion, aborted placentas and taiwanese fetuses. She mixes all of that into a devil asian medicinal potion of the element of Wood in order to destroy them.

“Yes, just you awaiti my darrings, I wirr have my revenge! HIHIHIHIHI!!!!!”

Meanwhile, the other students are touching the inpune ugly evil organelle tissue of dandillion desires and scaphognathine inanity of Eufalnicomorphae arses. The Phoebe gathers samples from large brain cell tumours, unknowingly releasing a huge torrent of verdant carcinoma pus that floods the blood stream and covers her entire suit, entering through her poop escapade hole and her breathing orifice.


“Yes my darling, let the cancer consume you as his wife! HAHAHAHAHAHA!”

And the Phoebe does, and so her flesh is quickly mutated into a mass of tumours and rotten sitcky shit tissue. In just a few minutes, Phoebe the evil little girl is now nothing but a sack of cancer shaped like a boudacious felicity hotness brat, and then explodes in ten thousand butterflies of AIDS and syphylis condolences.

“I guess metamorphosis was not very kind to her!”

“Carlos!” everyone rolls the eye orbs of despise, except Arnold which rewards hispanic bad behaviour with virginity kisses of supple lily pads of the eastern slopes of the Himalayas.

Ralph growls, he must kill soon. He picks some samples of HeLa cell tumours and hides within his hat, he plans to put them on the two lovers. Yes, Mrs Frizzle is very wisdom, the weak must die in benefit of the strong. Oh, Ralph, your misguidance must unsucceed!

“My children, look at this!” says Frizzle the heliacal madness descent hypocondriac, “A wonderous specimen of most beautiful aesthetics of prettiness!”

And it was, a massive endometrium teratoma on the left lobe. It was full of most putrid and poreful abcesses, oozing gallons upon gallons of violently rotten vulture carrion bloody black bile which much excited the gingerhead blonde teacher woman of hatred.

“Should we take the samples?” says Dorothy, grabbing her axe to strike.

“No, this is wonderous example of nature’s evil heart! We must let it spread and consume this pitiful old man of corpus cavernosum most detestful fleas! Be sure to photograph it, it will be on your examination!”

And the children do, except Ralph, he will cut a sample to put on Carlos belly button and create uterous of calamity catastrophic cacophony of proliferation infection of woe!

“Mrs Frizzle, Ralph the morose moron of dementia deficiency is ruinating the tumour!” cries the Keesha, she grows very attached to the cancer.

“Ralph my man if you infect I will grant you university college upgrading!” says the Frizzle, she really wants to proselyte Gaea’s will towards men.

“Will do!” licks the disgusting PERV deviancy closet case, he wants to infect………….Carlos and Arnold!

“Oh noes the priviledge student of psychosomantic inanity desires to terminate our flowerful solar UV radiance existence by diseaseful intentions of woe!” cries the Arnold with much horrore in his breast.

“My love, we shall be united forver in the existence of cancer” says Carlos teardely, kissing the Arnold supple lips.

But suddenly the schoolbus begins to cackle on eldritch lovecraftian madness, driving thousands to insanity and osteoporose dreams of, and the Wanda fires her evil devil potion – or, as she puts it, “evir devir potion”. The demon chink woman child much laughs in her sentiment of huge lagomorph incivors.

“Yes my pitifur coreagues, you sharr arr DIE!” laughs the evil chinese girl with much joy in her underage pericardium.

The first to be hit by the blast is Ralph, his suit is set on fire because the potion is wood and fire is born from wood in Wu Xing wisdom alchemical traiditions of spirituality truthiness, only that the blood is Yin so the fire causes a tremendous unbalance, so a black hole is formed in Ralph’s thymus gland.


And the black hole utterly wrecks the Ralph torso: first the niples are completly ripped, then the skin, then the sternum and ribs are utterly broken into smithereens, then the pectoral musculature is sucked in, then the lungs, then the gastric system completly ruptures into a bloody paste filled with semi-digested brocculi, shit and bile, then the spinal cord snaps in half, making Ralph paraplegic and shit whatever diarrhea remains in his colon – which is then sucked up -, then his genitalia dislodges and is smashed into a purple semen stuffing, then his pelvis shoots out of his femur sockets at such a speed that, even though most of it is consumed by the black hole, a few fragments reach enough velocity to hit Ralph’s face, wrecking his facial nerves and stucking him in a permanent drooling, spasmic, fish-eyed mess that lacks any sort of control or consistency, so it is all ripped off and falls into the black hole. Only his feet remain, which are then quickly grabbed by D.A. because she is cheese fetishist.

Wanda fires again and again, this time hitting the precious tumour that Mrs Frizzle adorates in her natural pagan worship.


And the Frizzle jumps at her own bus, but it will not let her in, it has found a new, darker master to obey and protest, so it locks the doors and flood the Frizzle face with mustard gas. Frizzle’s eyes orbs explode and are scattered across the old man circulatory system, spreading the cancer she loved so much. Wanda Li decides to participate in the final blow, so she gets out of the bus and sinks her ginormous buckteeth on the Frizzle calf, removing an enormous chunk of flesh and devouring it with much pleasure. But her tummy begins to ache.

“HAHAHAHA SHITTY CHINK GIRL I HAVE CURSED WITH MY DEVIL DEATH WISHES SO LONG CHINA CAT PUSSY!” says the Frizzle meanly, before she poops her internal organs and dies.

And the Wanda much destestfully understands: Frizzle flesh is cancerous beyond belief, it quickly spawns HeLa cell tumours that consume underage asian lad girl meat and turn into abcess oozing waste of chalicothere virginity. Wanda’s ribs are turned into evil calcarium spider legs that ruip themselves from her sternum and open her chest like The Thing, now connected by a rope made from her spinal chord. The hook shoots and grabs the Keesha head, destroying it and blowing it up in a shower of blood, cerebral matter, bone shards, masticated Barbie dolls and fetid unfestered Navajodactylus enemas. Black liquid magma poop emerges from her rotten old butt ring, covering D.A.’s face and melting it off, scattering the eyes, ears and nose across the liver tumour. The liver teratomas begin to growl like starved tigers sodomised by atomic bomb mutant russian, as necrosis begins to spread and terminate Frizzle’s worshipped cancer.

“Ah, so cancer is not the purest form of nature” Tim concludes, “DEATH is! Death awaits us all and shall devour everyone of us! Social darwinism does not matter because, in the end, even the strongest will be claimed by Hades’ unfestered seaweed dick! We must live to accept our fate, not to mooch off others!”

“Wow, such words of wisdom and Sophia delight!” says the Arnold, kissing Tim crotch much to Carlos’ envy.

So the three boys abandoned the desolated old man dementia carcasse in their now subservient Magical Bus, returning to the sunlit world of tghe living. Carlos, Arnold and Tim are now in a polygamous gay relationship, the former two living to serve the latter’s BBC with much pleasure and solipsism, and so they live happily ever after until the Sun’s hydrogen supply runs out and the Earth is consumed by Helios holy fire, boys and girls!

One Comment leave one →
  1. Emily permalink
    February 18, 2014 5:06 am


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