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Das Furries: episode one script

May 31, 2012

[Theme music with character intros]

[Gang at the bar. Wolf drinking coffee, Horse drinking a beer, Foie Gras and Fruit Fly chatting, Platypus-kun smoking pot. Tiger enters, and walks towards them]

Wolf: Can’t you fucking believe it? Those republican atheists are at it again!

Horse: Those bastards never stop! It’s like they want a death wish or something, always supporting the theocracy retards.

Tiger: Guys, I have urgent news!

Foie Gras: What the fuck is it now!?

Tiger: I was checking Fur Affinity…

Chorus: Hallelujah!

Tiger: And it turns out all the gay porn artists are drawing straight porn and faving straight porn pictures!

Fruit Fly: Oh my Meesh, my worst nightmare came true! Now there won’t be yaoi left!

Wolf: [whining] I bet it’s those conservative atheists again!

Horse: Yeah, only they can make such an evil scheme to try fursecute us!

Foie Gras: What do you think we should do, Platypus-kun?

Platypus-kun: [beat] Nyan…

Tiger: Exactly!

[Cut to a random room with a computer in it. Everyone is gathered around it, while Wolf types]

Wolf: Oh my HushHusky! It’s true!

Foie Gras: Fucking conservative atheist bastards, I’m going to fucking kill them!

Wolf: It’s hopeless! BAWWWW!!!!!!!!!!

[Suddenly, DramaLlama comes in]

Foie Gras: Who the fucking hell are you?

DramaLlama: Dramallamallamadrama!

Fruit Fly: What did you say, Llama-chan?

DramaLlama: Dramallamallamadrama!

Foie Gras: Okay, he’s fucking with us! I’m going to fucking kill you and fuck every hole in your body!

[Foie Gras chases after DramaLlama into “FurCity”, and then they stop near a bunch of conservative atheists]

Conservative Atheist #1: Soon, our darkest plans will come to fruition1

Conservative Atheist #2: Yes, our evil infection of FurAffinity will bring about the destruction of the Earth! Bwahahaha!!!

Foie Gras: Oh yeah!? Talk to the fist, bitches!

Conservative Atheist #1 and #2: NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!! [are beaten to death]

[Foie Gras returns to the room]

Foie Gras: Great news guys, the evil conservative atheists behind the evilness have been killed!

Fruit Fly: But the yaoi is still dying!

Foie Gras: WHAT!? I killed the bastards! How can the infection still be on!?

Horse: I don’t think that was the infection they were talking about…

[Computer explodes, and FurAffinity dies]

[Credits]

One Comment leave one →
  1. GigoXXIII permalink
    June 5, 2012 12:47 pm

    What the heck did I just read!

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