Skip to content

Fanfic: Glee on the Zoo

April 8, 2012

Will Schuester was a very creative man, so he decided to create musical inspiration by taking New Directions into the Ohio zoo. No one liked that idea one bit, because all the students hated animals with a fiery passion. The only exception was Sugar Motta, and that’s because she had a Freudian dream about snakes and oisters.

They arrived as soon as the lunch period ended, because the zoo was down the street. The entrance was elaborate with a picture of a tiger, baby koalas and a horse with an erection. The ticket shop was covered by bamboo and an oister fountain, and was owned by a woman with the face of a chimpanzee.

“17 tickets please” asked Will Schuester.

“That’d be marijuana and LSD” said the woman.

“Excuse me!?”

“Look, I know you teachers smoke weed and acid to keep your brains retarded. Now give me the drugs or I will call in the Rudy Boys to stuff bamboo up your students’ asses!”

“Oh please don’t let the Rudy Boys rape our arses!” said Rory, who had anal tumours and didn’t want the Rudy Boys to post them on the internet.

“Fine!” and Schuester opened his secret stash.

“My oh my, you even have brownies! Okay, you may go for free, but next time I will call in the Rudy Boys anyways!”

New Directions then entered the zoo. It was eerily quiet except for the moans of the koalas banging on a bench.

“Okay, so where do you guys wanna first?” asked Finn.

“I wanna go see the elephants” said Lauren Zizes depressedly, “At least they’ll make this bullshit excuse for a field trip more entertaining.

And so they went to the eastern section of the zoo, where there was a giant paddock with Asian elephants in it. They had bloody red eyes and were smoking pot, heroine and opium.

“Awesome, they’re my favourites now!” said Rachel in glee (geddit), sympathising with the evil and depressedness in those cruel eyes.

The elephants looked at Quinn with interest, and suddenly one of them picked her up with his trunk!

“Help! Those bastards are choking my un-pregnant uterus!”

Without letting go of her, the elephant pushed away her clothes with his extremely flexible nasal member, and then shoved his trunk up her vagina. He kept pushing until it destroyed her cervix and reached her uterus; only then did he stop embracing her with his nose, but she did not fall because she was hang by her belly. Unfortunately, gravity hated her, so the abdomen did not endure much long, and it ruptured, releasing her shit filled bowels from their manipuric prison. Her dying body fell on a pool of elephant poop, and her bowels rotated viciously in all directions as they fell, spreading shit on the elephants and on the New Directions. The students screamed and went away to the bathroom, leaving the elephants to add shit to their drugs to make them more potent.

“Poor Quinn, she didn’t deserve a shitty fate” cried Sam.

“Well, what is done is done, and at least she died for a noble cause” said Will Schuester wisely.

They decided that the slurping sounds made by the elephant rupturing through Quinn’s vagina were a nice addition to the melodies of the choir. They decided to stop for a moment to mourn the death of their blonde companion with ice cream and a group wrist cutting session. Little did they know, however, that the villains were in the zoo too!

“Okay guys, everyone remember the plan?” said Sue all pirssy because her menstruation reached it’s apex.

“Uh, can you repeat again?” asked Azimio, who didn’t listen because a monkey was fucking his ear.

“It’s easy!” said Sunshine Corazon with the voice of a whore, “We first throw slushie at them, then we throw some more slushie, and then they get all humiliated! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!”

Sue face palmed.

“You dumbass! You didn’t listen either!”

“I have a new plan” said Sebastian Smythe, “Let’s pick them one by one and throw them at the dolphin aquarium. They will all get raped and have AIDS even if they survive!”

“Oh my gosh, your plan is brilliant!” said Kendra Giardi masturbating, “If you weren’t a fag I’d totally bone your balls off!”

“Okay, new strategy” said Sue, “Bryan Ryan, you go after Will, cut off his balls and throw him to the dolphin aquarium. Alma Lopez, you go after Santana and throw her to the ostrich cage and shit on her. Principal Figgins, you kidnap Lauren and remove her entrails while calling her fat. Jesse St. James, you go after Rachel and send her to the bonobo compound so she can be the first human to be impregnated by primates and so she can give birth to a race of abominations to serve my plans of world domination. Azimio, you go after Chang and throw him to the panda cage where he will be mauled to death by the bastards. Kendra Giardi, you go after Artie and rip off his legs and throw him to the lion exhibit while calling him “retarded disabled”. Sebastian Smythe, you go after Blaine and rape him and throw him to the crocodile pen after covering him with crocodile pheromones so he will be raped some more. Karofsky, you go after Finn and castrate him and dig a fake pussy in his crotch so you can rape him as well. Terri Schuester, you capture Sam and shove rattlesnakes up his ass until he dies. Olivia Newton-John, you go after Tina and rape her pussy with a japanese crane’s head. Sunshine, you go after Mercedes and send her to the warthog pen where Pumba is waiting to rape her. Ken Tanaka, you go after Puck and shove his head up your ass so he will drown in shit. Becky Jackson, you go after Brittany and put her in the baboon pen, where they will do to her what the bonobos will do to Rachel. Sandy Ryerson, you will go after Rory and rape him and show his ass tumour to the internet. And, finally, Jacob Ben Israel, you will rape Sugar Motta and throw her to the giraffe cage and cut off her clit, so that the giraffes will be religiously offended and pray for Zeus to kill her! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

“And what about Kurt!?” everyone asked furiously, because all villains wanted to rape and kill Kurt.

“Leave him to me. The Queen Bee must meet her adversary, and I will personally destroy him with all my evil powers!”

“And what about me!?” asked Adele. She got tired of her songs being raped so she turned evil.

“You go sing Turning Tables while I execute my master plan. First, Kurt’s balls. Then, the WORLD!!!!! HAW HAW HAW!!!!”

***

“Close enough to start a war”

***

New Directions went to see the dolphin aquarium. They were all happy because dolphins make everyone happy with their casual murder and rape of all lifeforms. A particular dolphin was raping Bruno Mars as part of the show.

“Help, everyone help!”

“Oh, he’s so cute playing with his anus” said Rachel meanly.

Because dolphins ejeculate at the speed of a bullet, Bruno Mars’ bowels got destroyed, and the tank was filled with blood and shit. Everyone cheered except for M&M, who had one less person to have shitty cameos with.

“And now, for the next number, we will need a volunteer” said the spokesperson, who was dressed like whorish mermaid with green scales covering every part of her body except her boobs.

“I wanna participate!” said Will, raising his hand.

“Okay Mr Schuester, come onstage by the cotton candy islands!”

And so Will jump off his seat and took the cotton candy island route until he reached the floating stage. Little did he now, but Bryan Ryan was prepared. He was actually the whorish spokesperson, as he had made a plastic operation to had boobs to fool Will. They were autentic fat boobs, donated by Madonna, because he was allergic to silicon.

“Okay Will, why don’t you take a seat?” and he showed a floating plastic isle.

Inside it, it was a pair of blades specifically measured and refined to cut Will’s balls. Oh noes!

Will took the seat. It was very comfy, but there was a gap. Instinctively, he retracted his balls so inside his body that they reached the spinal cord, and thus he only felt a tickling sensation caused by the wind generated by the blades.

“I don’t understand! Your balls should be reduced to individual cells by now!”

“Oh, don’t you know? There’s an ancient technique of ball retraction passed by generation to generation of american teachers known as the Raping Dolphin. You see, dolphins have their balls inside their bodies in order to master sex, so the ancient indians of the Ohio learned with the dolphins to retract their balls, and passed this technique to western teachers…in orgy! With this sacred art, the true teacher masters the elements and all secrets of the world. Pity you’re not a true teacher…Bryan Ryan!”

Will then jumped like a dolphin at the spokesperson and began foundling his boobs! He licked them, he bit them, he sucked them so well everyone was masturbating furiously, even Kurt and Blaine because Brayn Ryan’s boobs looked like dicks. Everyone came, and the cum released the Yang energy of the dolphins, who began growing legs. Will then jumped away and left Bryan Ryan to be raped by the dolphins, who ate his boobs and penis and fucked the bloody holes left. He died of multiple bullet wounds left by the dolphin cum.

***

“All that I have is on the floor”

***

Alma Lopez was very happy. She would kill her lesbo daughter and shit on her! Any other homophobe would be green of envy, and she’d be crowned queen of America once Sue took over the world. She observed from afar, hidden in the bushes. Little did she knew, however, that the ostriches had escaped their pen, and were right behind her!

“Uh, hi there guys! I was just wanting to teach my daughter a lesson that’s all” Alma Lopez laughed nervously.

But the ostriches were not fooled. The alpha ostrich dove his head on Alma’s left eye, and began head fucking her eye socket. Another ostrich slid down her panties, and dove it’s head on her pussy, reaching the uterus and rupturing it, and head fucked her all the way up to her heart. A third ostrich began shitting on her, rubbing it’s cloacs with it’s once white, now brown wing feathers.

Alma screamed, but she was soon silenced when a fourth ostrich shoved it’s head up her mouth, and began head fucking her digestive track, reaching as low as her stomach. There, the bird met the second ostrich and the two began french kissing, tasting the blood and shit that came from Alma’s intestines and from the other ostrich shitting on her. The first ostrich finished the job by penetrating her brain, but he didn’t killed her right away. He licked Alma’s brain, massaging it with his tongue, and Alma lost control of her body. She began to involutarily shit herself and pissing, but because the second ostrich was blocking her vagina her belly began to flood until it burst, covering the ostriches with more blood, bile, piss and shit.

The ostriches all had erections, and they were still hard when they returned to their paddock when New Directions went there. They were still stinking because bathing is against their religion.

“Oh professor, why do the sexiest animals have to be the most smelly?” asked Mercedes masturbating.

“STFU and enjoy the show!” everyone else said, also masturbating.

***

“God only knows what we’re fighting for”

***

The next stop was the antelope exhibit. It was very pretty, looking like an open savanna. There were elands, impalas and oryxes, all in harmony fucking each other.

“I love their rutting sound!” said Chang, “We should incorporate it into our songs!”

Suddenly an eland began aproaching Kurt, and began french kissing him, their tongues mixing in a dance of passion that left Blaine jealous. Then the eland touched his crotch with his hoof!

“I think he wants to fuck you both” Chang said, in perfect connection with the noble antelopes.

Kurt and Blaine jumped into the paddock, and began removing their clothes while Blaine frenched the eland passionately. Kurt was the first to act, sucking Blaine’s cock while masturbating the eland. Even masturbated at the sight, except Principal Figgins, who was much preoccupied with catching Lauren. He was on top of the macaw exhibit; he had tied a liana like rope to a high pine tree, so he’d swing Tarzan style towards New Directions.

He jumped, moving at the speed of a falcon towards his fat gothic prey. He he had a disttraction! Kurt was being double teamed by Blaine and the antelope, the eland on his ass and the boyfriend on his mouth, while kissing the artiodactyl. The scene as so sexually arousing Figgins began to nosebleed, losing so much blood he couldn’t keep focus.

He clashed against the eland, his belly perfurated by the horns, covering the three lovers in blood and bile (he didn’t eat anything all day, so there was no shit).

“Holy shit, that bastard Figgins was trying to kill us!” shouted Finn while cumming.

“All villains are attacking us today!” said Sugar Motta, “It’s like they planned an evil plan or something!”

“We must be allert” said Santana, “They could have planned evil plans of nefarious malevolence!”

Then Blaine, Kurt and the eland came.

***

“All that I say, you always say more”

***

Jesse St. James did not see the fall of his evil comrades, so he had no precedent of failure. He focused on his target, Rachel, his fallen princess, whom he had used and loved only for her to be loyal to her stupid faggy friends. He will not tolerate, he will avenge, he will teach her a lesson she will not forget as she will breed the minions of evil, the cruel monkey-men who will serve Sue once she takes over the universe!

New Directions were at the bonobo exhibit. He had no cum left in their balls nor secretions left in their vaginas, so they didn’t felt like masturbating to the bonobo orgy beneath them. They instead took notes for stage performances.

Jesse prepared his aim; he was going to shoot tranquilisers for the first time. He aimed, and BAM!

Unfortunately, the tranquiliser hit Sam instead, making him fall on a toad that regurgitated a mouse at the speed of light, which hit a duck and was deflected, flying into the sky until it hit a pine tree, letting it’s pine cone cargo fall on a rhino, which raped a buffalo so hard that it vomited it’s own four bowels at the speed of neutrino molecules, that hit the ass of an elephant so hard it penetrated it and travelled through the body so hard that the elephant’s bowels joined it as it left the body. The bowels then fell on the monkey headed lady, disrupting her brain functions so she hit the red button and exploded the ticket shop, sending her flying corpse to land on the souvenir shop, causing a koala push to land on a peacock, who had a koala plush fetish but was allergic to koala plushes, so it imploded and the viscera and bones flew through the air landing on the hydraulic system, blocking it and leading to a watery explosion that destroyed an old lady taking a shit in a bathroom, whose head flew into the sky and hit a seagull, who vomited spartan penises on an airplane, making the pilot lose control and sending it to clash into the zoo.

Jesse tried to get out of the way, but it was too late. The air plane utterly smashed him, except for his head that landed on the bonobo orgy, and it became the primates’ new sex toy. And they ate his brains.

***

“I can’t keep up with your turning tables”

***

Azimio was also unaware of his colleagues’ deaths, only thinking on fast food, on how to destroy Chang, and on how to stop the monkey fucking his ear. He waited at the panda cage, but little did he know how sexy fat black men are to pandas. They are the sex gods of the bear world, lusted by all bears and the romantic fantasies of all pandas, who wish to unite with the divine by parting in the erotic ascent with Azimio.

The pandas were very shy. You’d be too, if you were in front of the person you lust for both sexually and romantically. Eventually, a female took the lead. With a single blow of her claws, she ripped off Azimio’s pants, underwear and ass cheek skin. Before he could register what was happening, the panda turned him around and frenched him passionately.

The pands hugged him, and they both fell on the enclosure. The other pandas imediately followed. Azimio tried to scream and get away, but the pandas and the monkey were hugging him and licking all over his body, sending his nerves to sigh with a breeze of dark pleasure and hidden repressed lusts. He moaned into the female panda’s mouth, and had the hardest erection he ever had, and imediately penetrated her cunt. She was a virgin, so he broke her hymen, releasing the scent of blood into the atmosphere.

This caused the pandas to enter in a sexual frenzy, and began to bite his flesh, ripping it off to form false-vaginas on his body. They created these holes all over Azimio’s body, and fucked them all. Even the monkey joined in.

“AAAAAAHHHHHHRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!” screamed Azimio, but it was too late, as the pandas had caused many sex wounds on his flesh.

They all came. Unfortunately, pandas have infectious fungi in their semen, so Azimio’s flesh began to be filled by white necrosis caused by the fungi. The blood only made it worst, as the fungi were carried to all over the body in a matter of seconds. Azimio’s flesh deteriorated, secreting white pus all over as his leucocytes commited suicide. The blood and muscle became white-ish yellow, and his skin fell off, unsexying him to the pandas, who fled the scene. Only the monkey remained, still fucking his ear, as his metabolism failed as his heart became a white rotten mass.

When the New Directions passed by the exhibit, Azimio was a pile of cleansed bones as his flesh was too rotten to remain attached to them. And the monkey was still fucking his ear hole

***

“Under your thumb, I can’t breathe”

***

“I always wanted to have sex with a lion since I was three!” said Artie fucking a lioness.

Everyone was cheering as the disabled kid had his ambition in life fulfilled. The lioness was a MILF, the oldest in the pride, so old the uber-macho males (who were fucking Kurt and Blaine) did not want her, but to Artie she was a goddess. Brittany and Tina were jealous, but they didn’t mind because it was very unlikely he would want to have a serious relationship with that feline.

Kendra Giardi was masturbating furiously, almost forgetting her mission. She run at full speed towards then, powered by her orgasm, literally flying as she raised a knife to cut Artie’s legs. Unfortunately for her, Finn spotted her and raised a frying pan to her face.

BAM!

Her face was smashed against the iron, her nose, eyes, cheeks, lips, teeth and jaws reduced to a bloody pulp. He braincage even cracked, leaking the cerebral fluids and blood. She was not dead yet, but the impact shoved a bone shard up her Broca area, and made her retarded.

“Sue…she planning evil evils….I wanna fuck Chris Colfer…and Jonathan Groff….” she said, waving her arms like a mad woman while shitting her panties.

And then she died, a torrent of diarrhea heralding her life’s unremarkable finale.

Everyone gasped, except Artie who was busy cumming.

***

“So I won’t let you close enough to hurt me”

***

They were now prepared. They went to visit the crocodile paddock; Kurt, Blaine, Brittany and Puck were “working” with the reptiles, while everyone else kept vigilance. It was a very hard job, because they were horny as they listened to Kurt and Brittany moaning as their asses were penetrated by sweet tasting (really, they taste like candy) crocodyllian cocks. Blaine and Puck were double teaming a gharial; because they have cloacas, they were fucking the same hole where the crocodile’s penis was, so the three cocks rubbed in harmonious pleasure.

Sebastian was eyeing them with jealousy. First they steal Blaine, now the gharial is being double fucked? He will have his revenge at all costs! He is hiding in the bushes, with a smell grenade in his hand, filled with crocodile hormones. If the crocodiles smell it, New Directions is doomed, because the reptiles will enter in a carnivorous frenzy of lust in which everyone’s genitalia will be eaten! Oh ones!

“Haw haw haw, you will pay for stealing the spotlight, Chris Colfer!”

And then he throws the grenade!

But Sam instantly spots it, and grabs it with his mouth and swallows like a pro!

“Sam, what have you done!?” cries Mercedes in panic.

The grenade explodes inside Sam’s body, throwing his gorn at Sebastian. Besides the intestines, bile, blood and shit, the pheromones also hit Sebastian.

“Oh. My. Fucking. God” he says as a pack of hungry crocodiles jumps at him.

They lustfully tear off his clothes and viciously attack his crotch, viciously fighting for his genitals. Sebastian screams as his penis and balls are reduced to bloody flesh fragments! All that is left is a bloody, skin-less taint and urethal hole, that squirts a torrent of urine, infecting his blood and ending up in his kidenys again, and the cycle begins anew. He Cannot live without a manhood and under the cycle of urine, so he puts a bullet to his brain, killing himself.

But nobody cares; they are looking at their fallen comrade, poor Sam.

“Oh Sam, you sacrificed your life in name of mine!” cried Blaine hugging Kurt.

They made a grave next to Quinn’s, in the elephant turd pool.

***

“No, I won’t rescue you to just desert me”

***

They were heading towards the seal exhibit, when Karofsky showed up.

“Dave, what the fuck!?” said Kurt angrily, “I thought you redeemed!”

“I did, but I had to go along Sue’s plans for world domination in order to appease my mother! She’s evil as well and she forces me to be evil too!”

“And how do we know you’re not lying!?” said Mercedes all pissed off.

“Well, I’ll stay with you guys and tell you of their evil plans. If they match up to my predictions then I’m not lying.”

Nobody liked the idea, but they let Karofsky stay.

***

“I can’t give you the heart you think you gave me”

***

They knew Terri was destined to destroy Sam, but since Sam was already destroyed they knew there was a gap in her reasoning. They went to the rattlesnak paddock anyways, because everyone knew Terri was stupid enough to go with the plan regardless. They watched the rattlesnakes have an orgy, but didn’t dare to fuck them because they didn’t want to be poisoned. Instead, Sugar Motta was tasked to take notes while everyone else masturbated.

Suddenly Terri jumped at Will!

“Oh Will, I still love you! Marry me again please!”

“You join the dark side and you expect me to marry you again!? God, you are stupid!”

And then Will threw her at the rattlesnake paddock, and they all jumped at her boobs, giving her a cardiac arrest by pumping so much venom into her chest. Some rattlesnakes entered her vagina, and made her womb their new home.

***

“It’s time to say goodbye/to turning tables/to turning tables”

***

The next stop was the crane paddock. The cranes were very prudish, always practising Ba Gua and never stopping to have sex, hence why they were endangered. But that did not stop the Glee Club.

“Okay, the plan is this” said Kurt, “First we lure in the cranes with candy, then we place them in the ice cream van, then we masturbate in front of them, then we show clips of “Schoolboy Crush” and then the cranes will be horny enough.”

“That sounds like an awesome plan” said Lauren Zizes, one of the few times she was happy, because there’d be plenty of spare candy to eat while having sex with the cranes.

They were also anticipating Olivia Newton-John, that blonde ugly old fart of a bitch. She was hidding in the crane pond, her head beneath a lotus, ready to strike when they were less fortunate. Unfortunately for her, the cranes didn’t like ugly blonde bitches, so they telekinetically shoved a frog on her cunt. The frog didn’t like Olivia either, so it began to shit on her cancer filled cervix.

“AAAAAHHHH! You bastards will pay for this!” and so she jumped out of the water, ready to kick crane ass.

Unfortunately for her, the cranes were master airbenders, so they did the sacred airblade move, and her thorax was severed from her abdomen. Her upper body fell on the pond, while her lower body kept running around like a headless chicken, spreading bile and diarrhea everywhere. It run all over the zoo until it hit Sunshine Corazon.

As if the bile and shit weren’t enough, the bowels became dirty tentacles and began to rape Sunshine, filling her pussy with yellowish-brown excrement. Sunshine’s pussy became rotten and her blood was infected by a virus that replaced the plasma with diarrhea, so she exploded in bloody shit, except her head that was thrown to the sky and landed on Olivia’s head. It landed face first, so their faces were smashed against each other, and what happened to Kendra happened to them as well. Only that some bone shards flew from their heads, hitting a pig’s ass, prompting it to go on a rampage through the petting zoo.

The pig then jumped on a sandpaper covered crate and began to fuck it, it’s penis being ripped to shreds  until it was a bloody pulp. The crate then opened, and an ugly abomination came from it.

“Time to get my revenge!” said…………..Daisy Duck!

***

“Under haunted skies I see”

***

Ken Tanaka was palnning his move. He’d shove Puck’s head on his never-clean colon, and then he’d do the same to Will for stealing his Emma! But his plan was interrupted when a duck abomination took hold of his wrists.

“Hi there Ken, think I’d forget what we did in Hong Kong?”

Ken was paralised with fear. He would never have guessed Daisy Duck survived having her pussy melted with sulphuric acid!

“That’s right Ken, my hatred for you has given me a new sense of purpose. Now let the fun begin!”

She then began frenching him. Her saliva was now corrosive acid, so his tongue, teeth, lips and cheeks melted into black blood, exposing his white jaws. She then licked his left eye, causing it to explode, and then began fucking the eye socket with her tongue. It became pristine white and then some acid got into the brain. It began to melt the hippocampus so Ken’s memories got distorted and he had a false memory of being in love with Hermione Granger. His vision got distorted as well so he saw Emma Watson in Daisy Duck.

“Oh Hermione, my one true love!” he tried to say, but his vocal apparatus was now black blood.

Instead he began to fuck Daisy Duck. His penis began to melt, but as his brain deteriorated so did his body control, so he began to fuck Daisy at the speed of sound. Her already melted pussy caught fire, and they both were burned to death, cleansed of their sinful existences.

***

“Where love is lost your ghost is found”

***

Becky Jackson was fairly smart, disability aside, but her time with Sunshine had made her so dumb that she now only reacted to stimuli. Sandy Ryerson had to go with her, and once Brittany had passed by he spanked Becky, sending her to go after Brittany at the speed of light. They both collided so hard that their bones were fractured, and they fell on the baboon pit together. They found themselves sorrounded by horny baboons with steroids.

Brittany was in panic. She did not want to defile herself to such ugly drug-infected baboons, so she concentrated all her powers, and BOOM! Her soul got seperated from her body, and now she was a ghost.

“Yay! Victory for me!”

She watched as the baboons began raping all the orifices of her now dead body and of Becky’s body, including the ears, the nostrils and the eye sockets! But Becky was not done yet! She kicked the baboons in the nuts and turned them around, eating their testicles. She ate a ball from each baboon, usually the left ball but sometimes the right one instead. She then began licking Rafiki’s face, who got so pissed off he ate her face, ripping the upper lip and nose off with his teeth and shoving it up his ass. Becky retaliated by growing wings of bone and cutting off Rafiki’s cock with them. The baboons got mad because their lord and saviour was castrated, so they killed themselves by slitting their anus with blades.

Becky flew away to outer space, intending to destroy Saturn, before the lack of oxygen killed her. Brittany rolled her eyes and went back to the gang, forever a ghost.

***

“I braved a hundred storms to leave you”

***

Rory was getting very uncomfortable. He now couldn’t fuck Brittany, but she looked so much more hot as a ghost, so he had an erection of steel that destroyed his pants. He tried with all his might to cover his tumourous anus, lest the villains get their chance.

Sandy Ryerson was waiting in the souvenir shop. He personally wanted to rape and kill Kurt and Blaine, but Sue wanted to destroy them herself, so he was content with murdering Rory. He stole some candy from the souvenir shop.

The corpse of the monkey lady was still there. Unknown to everyone, however, she was a Thing! Tentacles began sprouting from her body and moved towards Sandy, and before he could register a tentacle was shoved into his mouth, melting and assimilating it. Another tentacle went to his penis, also melting and assimilating it. Tons of blood fell on the ground, forming little devils that began fornicating with whorish mice. Sandy was very horny, so cum fell into the ground as well, forming little angels that founded a strip club for ants.

Another tentacle went to his nipple, and after the chest was assimilated The Thing created a pair of giant, ass-like boobs, that began lactating LSD. The other tentacles did the same on the rest of Sandy’s body.

Within a few minutes, Sandy was completly assimilated. His body eshaped into the monkey lady’s, who was thus reborn, except she was now taller and fatter because Sandy’s biomass was very large.

***

“As hard as you try I will never be knocked down”

***

Jabob was luckier than the other villains. All he had to do was to jump on Sugar Motta and she began screaming and running around like a mad mare as he violated her boobs.

“Help! Remove this microcephalic perverted nerd from me!”

Everyone tried, but Jacob’s years as a sexist nerd paid off. He kicked them all in the solar plexus, his legs well secured in Sugar Motta’s shoulders.

“Haw haw haw, you will never catch me! Sugar, if you want your salvation go to the giraffe exhibit!”

Sugar promptily jumped. However, she landed on the head of a bull giraffe, and she fell so hard that his head was shoved down her anus up her intestines, her belly exploding as the bull griaffe’s head was too big. Jacob fell on the giraffe’s back, and his sins would not be forgiven!

Another giraffe picked him up and removed his pants and underwear by viciously rubbing him against an eletric fence. His ass was scorched and his penis exploded in a million smithereens, and then he was released on the ground. Oh no, the big punishment was to come!

Another giraffe sitted on him, shoving him up it’s anus. He was completly devoured by the giraffe anus. It was rotten and smelled like decaying shit, and then a torrent of diarrhea threw him off the anus, throwing him all the way to Hawaii. There, he landed on a volcano, and he was so fat that he got stuck. The body below the navel was submerged in the hot lava, and the fact that he was covered in highly combustible shit did not matter. He was engulfed in flames, burning until nothing but ash was left. That ash was blown all the way to Japan, and shoved up Hiromu Arakawa’s vagina, giving her the inspiration for an hentai about giraffes.

***

The gang was ready to leave. Three dead members withstanding, they had a wonderful experience of much knowledge, lust and desire, and were ready to put in practise their nowfound techniques. But Sue was blocking the way!

“You may have killed my dark knights, but I will not stand to your stupidity! DIE KURT!!!”

She then formed a katana of light out of her clitoris and jumped into the air, intending to strike at Kurt! But something miraculous happened! All the sex and love shared by the members of New Directions activated their Power Ranger powers!

“Red Ranger!” said Will Schuester.

“Azure Ranger!” said Rachel.

“Apricot Ranger! said Finn.

“Indigo Ranger!” said Kurt.

“Black Ranger!” said Mercedes.

“Chartreuse Ranger!” said Artie.

“Yellow Ranger!” said Tina.

“Magenta Ranger!” said Puck.

“Brown Ranger!” said Santana.

“White Ranger!” said Brittany.

“Yellower Yellow Ranger!” said Chang.

“Dark Ranger!” said Lauren.

“Purple Ranger!” said Blaine.

“Green Ranger!” said Rory.

“Pink Triangle Ranger!” said Karofsky.

“With the Power of the Elements of Harmony of Satan, we declare Sue dead!” they all said.

“NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Sue moaned, but she was obliterated by the beam of light.

The Power Rangers: New Directions all cheered as they destroyed the forces of evil.

“Congratulations Glee Club” said the monkey lady, “You have passed the challenge. The forces of chaos and decay have been put at bay, but many evils still await. Sing the songs of harmony and life and rejoice in carnal desires, for only then will evil die.”

And then Adele posted Rory’s anal tumours on Pornhub.com

The End.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Random Guy permalink
    April 28, 2012 11:45 pm

    Speaking of zoos, I read many articles recently about zoos of the future. It says that as early as 2060, zoos could contain cloned dodos and robotic tigers.

    Heres a link: http://news.discovery.com/animals/future-zoos-woolly-mammoths-tiger-robots-clone-120217.html

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: